it’s bliss

i thank god for [the occasional] light work load.

because it gives me more time to sleep;
more time spent actually conversing with my family (rather than just muttering hello’s and goodbye’s out of the daily morning and evening rush);
more time with catching up with my friends;
more time sharing more pleasant & less stressful [work-related] things to my boyfriend.

it also gives me more time to focus my energy on things i don’t normally do. it gives me the chance to feel less of a self-centered, naive, apathetic, middle-class girl which i feel i am 90% of the time. it incites a certain rebelliousness in me, enough to drive my fingers to click away to websites and scribble away thoughts, ideas, and plans of how to make some sort of impact to my society, right in the middle of "work hours". it is by this act i feel most effected, because it is exactly what i most seldom get a chance to do.
and when it is here, when i am caught up in the emotions of learning, dreaming, and aspiring, i cry for my inability to devote ALL of my time and effort to it. i feel weak,  worthless and genuinely selfish.

but moments later, after that painful truth has yet again hit me, i realize i am still thankful. because there exists people who are stronger than me, who can give their life to the cause. and they are there to eternally remind me that even if i am not strong enough, i can still help. i can still do something. and i can still make a difference.

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 18th, 2007 at 6:46 pm and is filed under Personal issues :D. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.