it’s bliss

This trip was way too short, the results weren’t so good, and it just leaves me totally hungover and thirsty for more action, training time and improvement.

Five days ago I was so ready to slip climbing into the second-priority shelf of my career closet. But now, with a good X Games ranking left unattained, all the gung-ho readiness for work seems to have faded away and replaced by a bright and shining motivation to become a stronger and smarter climber.

Why does the trip have to leave this kind of effect on me? Why must I get distracted now? Why must I set aside my passion for something that’s less than close to my heart?

The idea of a new challenge in the market research world is very tempting indeed, but climbing is my first love, and with the new climbing challenge that emerged over the past two days, it’s become hard to stay excited about my new job.

God, I just don’t want to be distracted.

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I pray that MR will be another passion.

I know it will interfere with my other loves in life, but if it is the sole way to become successful in one’s field, then I cry to the high heavens to make me fall in love with MR.

CommRes was not my first choice degree, but it has grown on me over the four years in college. I learned to cope with it. Learning what I’ve learned in CommRes has somehow molded me into the person that I am now, and has influenced important decisions I’ve made in my life. Most of all, I enjoyed CommRes enough for me to take on a similar challenge in the MR world.

So who knows–the prospect of me geting used to and liking MR may be possible. MR as a passion, as a topic I can babble and talk about continuously in the same way I do about climbing, may not be just another dream.

It can’t be impossible to have two loves, is it?

Getting sick is such a waste of time. Especially when you don’t know what you’re sick from and have to go out of your way to visit the doctor.

I think that’s the part I hate most–going to the hospital. I’m such an anti-hospital person. I don’t like the smell of them. They smell dirty. I know it’s purely psychological, that my brain is just imagining all the bacteria and viruses escaping from the neighboring patient’s corner, but I grew up never having to be admitted to the hospital that I never had the chance to get used to the atmosphere. (Yes, I’m making excuses).

More than the lack of hospital exposure, the few times I did go to hospitals and clinics, well, they weren’t exactly pleasant visits. They left me with memories of long lines, long waits and stuffy, breeze-less corridors. They were topped off with secretaries with no respect for patients’ time, forever promising that the doc was "on her way" or "almost here", only to find themselves waiting an extra thirty to forty minutes to witness her arrival. And of course, the arrival was just the actual start of the suffering. Like a flash of light in a dark tunnel, it only provides misleading hope that a patient’s actual consultation period is about to happen any time soon, but can actually extend hours later.

While waiting on the corridor bench with my mom (who was the ill one this day), I was almost melting from all the heat–a mix of humid weather and my own temper rising. A million thoughts have started to pop out of my head, some murderous, some depressed, some panicked, but mostly confused. I just couldn’t understand how doctors, as professional as they are, cannot be punctual for their clinic hours and appointment. Sure, some may be late because they’re so kind that they grant patients extra time and attention, but for crying out loud, have I just been so unlucky that all doctors I’ve encountered IN MY LIFE happen to be compulsively generous with their services? And for all the people who’ve had similar experiences, I don’t think I can continue to be all idealistic and believe the (mis)fortune to be coincidental. DOCTORS ARE JUST CHRONICALLY INSENSITIVE, I wanted to proclaim in all our waiting. They have the skills, they have the dough–they’re on top of the world!–so they can be as f*ckin’ late as they want to be and none of the patients can do anything about it.

But of course, just stepping into the airconditioned room brought a change to my mood. And meeting the doctor practically made me forget about everything I whined about outside the clinic door. The doctor was great. She was smart and nice and explained the situation as precisely and clearly as we demanded, and even provided that "extra time and attention" I sarcastically referred to while impatiently waiting for our turn.

Maybe that’s why people bear with the tardiness. Because despite the used up time and energy, a result awaits in the doctor’s office. The cool room, the prescription, the words of enlightenment and comfort–they all erase the negative vibes and sour experiences like magic.

Though it will never JUSTIFY the tardiness, it provides a reason to tolerate it.

And until I can find my own little way of solving that epidemic, of slipping in even an ounce of change in the way hospitals run their clinics, I think I will only be wasting my own time and energy in whining about it.

Might as well just shut up and stay healthy–that’s the only way to totally avoid a visit to the doctor.

I discovered something. And I’ve been eating it for four straight meals already. Nevermind that my stomach has expanded from eating more than it usually carries–my tongue craves for the sweetness and will not stop salivating until it gets what it wants.

Despite the weather, despite the heat, I’m happy to be in the Philippines right here and right now, all because of FIC and our to-die-for mangoes. I love it so much that I went out of my way and took pictures of my new addiction, even if it meant letting the ice cream melt a tadbit more…And I want everyone in the world to learn about my discovery, and to go out and buy Zambales mangoes (doon galing yung mga amin ngayon eh, hehe), and to try out this "concoction".

INA’S RECIPE for getting a sugar high:

PLUS

EQUALS

Disclaimer: Hindi ako photographer so pasensya na kung hindi masyadong appetizing ang labas ng mga litratong ‘to. Pero shet, kung maamoy niyo lang talaga yung mga mangga, at pati na yung ice cream, siguradong mapapakain talaga kayo…