Archive for April, 2006

JASMS kid

Sunday, April 30th, 2006

Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me
Let there be peace on earth
A peace that was meant to be…

Suddenly hearing this song in mass today, I couldn’t help but be reminded of my alma mater.

JASMS introduced me to this song–it is practically our second school anthem, something we sang in the flag ceremony every Monday during the pre-school and grade school. First came the National Anthem, followed by the Panatang Makabayan, followed by our school song, and then by this one.

Thinking about it now, I find it so cool how our school has attempted to brainwash us into becoming peace-loving, idealistic children, with songs like these being required to be memorized, along with "One Little Candle" (It is better to light just one little candle/than to stumble in the dark/It is better to light just one little candle/all you need is a tiny spark)and Lea Salonga’s "I Am But A Small Voice" (
I am but a small voice/I am but a small dream/The fragrance of a flow’r/In the unpolluted air…Come young citizens of the world/We are one, we are one).

In JASMS, we had a Peace Mountain and held Peace Rallies, the most significant one held in the Batasan grounds where, as young as we were, we were encouraged and exposed to make colorful placards and banners that read "We Want Peace!" In the Batasan Freedom Park, we as a studentry, along with our parents, teachers and school administrators, sang songs of peace and hope and displayed to the politicians at the House of Representatives our sentiments on their purchase of firearms to fight against real and perceived enemies.

We had War Toy Burials where our teachers insructed our parents to bring toy guns, swords, tanks, and the like. A day (or half a day?) was dedicated to digging and burying all of my boy (and probably some girl) classmates’ toys in a strong display of our rejection of violence.

Aside from rallying for peace, JASMS has brainwashed me to care for the environment. I can’t recall anymore how that school has done that to me, except maybe a lot of our student activities (art/writing contests, classroom activities) had themes that related to environmental issues. We were taught to segregate our trash way before there were solid waste management proclamations. We attended tree-planting activities in and outside of school. Our Senior Kindergarten yearbook featured all of our illustrations of "Paano Natin Mapapanatili and Kagandahan ng Kapaligiran".

Maybe also since our school was so full of trees and grasses and everything green that we learned to appreciate and value the importance of nature. We were forever encouraged to go out to the playground and mountain, to run around the Peace Mountain, to take in the fresh air. And with JASMS being located along EDSA, the Peace Mountain stood as a perfect contrast to its polluted, un-managed atmosphere.

I remember being so disgusted by the pollution I saw along EDSA as my dad drove me to school every morning. I’d be seated in the passenger seat, seeing the huge buses spew long lines of smoke that hardly rose and remained hovering over the highway, turning into a pool of wavy, black air that stood ever-so-reliably over the horizon as we approached the school from North Avenue. I remember shaking my head in shame, wishing and wanting to solve the problem of pollution, but not knowing how to.

But I suppose that, for me, the most striking thing about studying in JASMS was its philosophy of Freedom with Responsibility. In JASMS, all the kids were free to be themselves, and to act like kids. We weren’t loaded with school work. I hardly remember being pressured to study for tests or to stop playing to do my homework. Instead, I remember how my our teachers would let us out into the Peace Mountain to play as long as we’ve finished our work for that day. How we were the given the options to choose what we’d like to during Physical Education classes–Kickball, Agawang Base, Softball, Volleyball, or Basketball (and for the non-physically active, Chess, Scrabble or Games of the General). How we could chitchat and play in the darkness of our classrooms during what was supposed to be nap time, but get away with it, because we never disturbed the neighboring classrooms anyway. How we would be allowed to play aboslutely ANYwhere, even if it seemed dangerous, which only taught us to watch after ourselves and pick ourselves up when we got wounds or bruises. How we sang a lot of songs, read a lot of stories and poems, drew a lot, danced a lot, and had LOTS of good time.

:)

Madami pa ‘to, I know it, but it’s a bit overwhelming to list it all down here right now…Ang masasabi ko lang ngayon–Man, I had a happy childhood. Thanks a lot to JASMS.

Past life

Saturday, April 29th, 2006

Trip lang. Thanks to Nikko’s blog for introducing me to this website. Syempre naintriga ako kung ano kaya ako sa aking "past life", and lo and behold, I found myself laughing at the extreme likelihood of the result!

According to Quiz Meme

Ina was
a Careless Priest
in a past life.

swoon

Friday, April 28th, 2006

this is a bit delayed but i just have to say…

elliott yamin ROCKS. finally, finally–after waiting for WEEKS–i ended up cheering and clapping my hands after his performance again. he’s the only one who can make me do that. ang galing niya talaga.

‘yun lang. :)

Always a victim

Thursday, April 20th, 2006

She told me, "Hindi ka ba nahihiya? Lagi ka na lang natutulog, nagpapahinga. May naitulong ka na ba sa’min?…Tapos aalis ka na naman, ilang araw na lang ang nailaan mo para sa ********. Tapos magta-trabaho ka na."

I cringe in guilt. Half-guilt. For I did not mean to be unproductive. It just so happened that I still had other responsibilities.

I stare back in shame and embarrassment. I was speechless, especially since I have never heard her talk to me like that.

She goes back to her take-home work on the couch, and I continue to sit on the arm of the couch, unable to move nor say a word. Is this really happening? I ask myself. Is this my mother talking?

Hours later as I laid on my bed, the guilt and humiliation manage to transform into disappointment. How can she be so mean? How can the person whom I’ve idolized and believed to be completely logical suddenly break the flawless image I have of her in a mere few sentences? I continue to gaze at the ceiling, deep in thought, deep in frustration and confusion. I could not sleep.

After what seemed like a few more hours, I blinked my eyes. The sinking feeling remained in my stomach and I remembered what an awful, heart-wrenching night I had.

And then I blink some more, and suddenly realize: I absolutely hate bad dreams. Especially when the feelings and thoughts of paranoia that they conjure are not unrealistic.

MRT snoozer

Friday, April 7th, 2006

Over time, one becomes more and more comfortable (or, at least, less and less inconvenienced) by riding the jam-packed MRT.

Today, I fell right asleep through my entire MRT ride, from the North Avenue station to the bright, open, sun-shiney tracks of Magallanes, when I was supposed to get off at the cold, shady, sleep-inducive recess of Ayala Station. Buti na lang pwedeng sumabay sa pabalik na biyahe mula sa Taft, at hindi ko na kinailangan pang lumipat ng tren.

At para bang hindi pa sapat ‘yon, pabalik ng QC, muntikan na naman akong lumampas sa binababaan kong stasyon. Hindi ko mapigilang maidlip kada minuto. Nakatulog at nagising yata ako ng tatlong beses sa pagitan ng Cubao at GMA station (an approximate 2 minute interval) with saliva-dripping action (ickkkk) and sideway-headbanging in between.

This isn’t even the first time this has happened. Lumampas na din ako ng stasyon dati. Dapat bababa akong GMA pero paggising ko, nakabukas na ang mga pinto ng tren sa Quezon Avenue station…

I’m such a sleepyhead. I think I need to buy me those Unuseless/Stupid Japanese Inventions–the hard hat with a suction cup appendage that you could stick to the train window, so that your head won’t keep dropping when you fall asleep. Better yet, that one which lets you sleep while standing up!

Sitting_sleeper

Mrt_stand_1

Half-baked

Wednesday, April 5th, 2006

My supervisor is extending my agony. Hehe. But I don’t mind. It was unintentional, and she is just being practical, so I completely understand. And it’s not like I’m in a real state of agony. My issue is how I feel like I’m no longer part of the Company, but somehow, I’m still completely tied to it. It’s hard to move on because in the back of my mind, I’m aware of my continued commitment to my unfinished business. And that just leaves me…stretched.

PROs? I’m flexible and feeling "needed" at both ends. CONs? My movement is constricted and I’ve no control over the direction I want to go–people are pulling me towards their own destinations.

Yes, stretched. Not torn, but stretched.

******
Nevertheless…I’m happy to say that things are finally falling into place. Things are finally going the way I want them to, and I’m feeling quite at ease. I find that I will be in this state for at least a month, for who knows what’ll happen come May 15.

Nevermind that I haven’t mentioned a word about it to my Mom…That part I will handle soon. Preferably tonight.

******
What’s happening to American Idol? From the start of the season, I’ve found very few who have blown me away. There have been beautiful, unforgettable performances every now and then, but for the past two weeks now, nothing has made me smile from ear to ear nor compelled me to even clap my hands in awe! I have no idea who will win, given all this inconsistencies.

Not that I’m a great singer. I just find it frustrating to be met with average performances, especially since Idol is the only television show I’m watching regularly this season. It’s such a letdown after a tiring day at work.

******
I’m there, but not quite. I’m feeling positive, but not 100% fulfilled.

But I’m on my way there. Give it 2, 4, or 5 more years.